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Perhaps you've seen one of those unfortunate velovids of the IgnikTricks from the '40's or the Siemens X-80's from the early '50's -- the explosions, the fires, the plasma burns, the dour nurses in the burn units, the hyperbaric chambers shaped like Mickey Mouse, the robodocs and their silvery cutting tools, the years of litigation, old Mr. Trick sitting on that pile of antique George Washingtons, his old man voice warbling: "You'll never take what's mine!"


Ladies and gents, those days are over. The Acme company has developed the top of the line Acme BSR-5900 ignition system to go along with its patented liquid nitrogen Acme TRUBLU propulsion system. Between them, the BSR-5900 and TRUBLU systems feature nineteen safety failsafes, including the Acme CROWDEDTHEATER fire control system and the Acme CRAZYANNIE ejection-and-parachute system (which comes packaged, for your convenience, with a Panasonic mobile entertainment station and a Larry's (TM) auto-dispensing wet bar, to ease the passage home.)

So cancel your life insurance policy. Get off the government dole and take the private option. Lie to your friends and tell them you're living on the edge. But tell your mother the truth: You're as clear as a bioport window in the Herman-Holland quadrant of the moon, because your ignition is failsafe, and failsafe means you're safe if it fails.


The Acme BSR-5900 Ignition system is environmentally friendly option to light solid and liquid jet propulsion. What's more, the ignition system is integrated with the drive train and propulsion systems thus acting in tandem with other on-board controllers to optimize the speed, operation and safety of the Jetpack.


Use this feature to, activate the propulsion system by pressing the blue start button on your Acme BSR-5900 arm-mounted control plate. It is located to the left of the navigation screen, displaying "start" andpulsating between blue, green and red in short intervals when then Jetpack is not running. When the Jetpack is currently active, the start button will glow white, it will display "stop" instead of "start." Pressing the ignition switch will begin deceleration and activate the landing sequence readying the passenger for a smooth transition to terrestrial touch-down. Rapidly depressing the ignition switch will activate emergency sequence and further instructions will be displayed on the operator's arm-mounted control plate.


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